Le 'F' Word

No, no, I wasn't reading dirty magazines in French . This enlightening article about the correct use of the English 'eff' word was actually in '20 minutes', a free daily paper that's handed out in metro stations. A daily paper read by thousands upon thousands of commuters on their way to work. Now, don't get me wrong, I understand that English is indeed the current lingua franca of the world, and I know that speaking good English is a huge asset when applying for a job in these parts, but surely, surely there must be other words that need to be taught to the general public before this one.

Now, I'm no prude, but I must admit that the unhibited use of English curse words in the French public media kind of makes me cringe. Children could be reading this for Pete's sake! And hear nah, this liberal use of the F bomb is not limited to the press either, no sir, it's also in the uncensored American music played non stop on the radio and even on popular day time television programs.

There is, for example, this game show called "Tout le monde veut prendre sa place" which involves trivia questions, singing, and a whole lot of small talk between the host and the contestants. The host Nagui, normally quite charming when chatting in his native French, just loves to throw random English phrases into his banter, because, you know, speaking English is just sooooo hip. The problem is his English is normally littered with curse words. I actually heard him once say to an elderly contestant on the show (who had just gotten a question wrong) "Aye, what zee f**k is wrong with you man? Are you f**king stoopeed?" Keep in mind this is a so called 'family friendly' program. Oh la la.

Who knows, maybe this whole working at a primary school thing is starting to bring out my protective paternal side. Or maybe it's just taught me how careful you have to be when talking to children. I've seen how these kids like to hold on to random English phrases, and for some reason the ones that normally stick in their heads are those that they shouldn't know how to say in the first place. These petits diables would refuse to answer you when you ask them their name, have no idea how to count to ten, but will take great delight in belting out a nasal hollywood inspired "Oh - my - god" intermittantly throughout the class. Who knows what they would be saying by the time they turn eight.

That's why I couldn't believe it when one of the head instructors suggested in a staff meeting that we teach the kids how to say their names by using Eminem's 'My name is Slim Shady'. Ok, granted, the kids would probably think it's cool, and yes, the absolute only part of the song that they would understand would be the 'my name is slim shady' part. But I would just feel way, way too dirty standing in front of that class of little ones and having to listen to Eminem singing:

Walked into a strip club. Had my jacket zipped up. Flashed the bartender then stuck my d**k in the tip cup.

Call me old fashioned, but I'd just rather we stick to the good old "Hello song". This way my conscience wouldn't have to gnaw at me at night while I try to sleep.

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Below is a Dutch commercial for English lessons that kind of demonstrates what I've been talking about. Please note that it is both VULGAR and UNCENSORED. You have been warned :)